November 2018 — 151 tweets
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Yeah, instagram, I like “travel” 😂
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Everything is terrible lately? Let’s find something to be cheerful about… suggestions: 1) something you accomplished 2) a thoughtful thing someone did because they care about you 3) something you are looking forward to If you have an answer for all three, your prize is hope 💜
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Just so we are clear: this isn’t what I expected when I bought a ticket. I’m sticking it out for the second half because it’s good to experience different things... and okay yes because I am a completionist.
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This toaster has a “crumpet” setting so I have no regrets.
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💯 Don’t work with psychopaths – https://link.medium.com/KEqKxOwFwR /by @liblab
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I’m excited we are hiring for this role and I work with this team a lot so feel free to ping me if you have any questions!! Internal Developer Advocate - https://automattic.com/work-with-us/internal-developer-advocate/…
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Ahhhhhh 😍
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Look what arrived today! A beautiful surprise that fits perfectly with my color scheme 😍🌸
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Watching an extremely Irish play and I only understand about half of what’s being said 😭
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Me: 1) I co-presented in 🇪🇸 (only a year late on a 2017 goal) 🎙 2) 🌸 arrived by surprise (pic), & yesterday @mnowster
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My latest for @QuartzAtWork
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First day on new team today 🤯 wish me luck!
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Okay the stairs still aren't finished but my lighting set up is getting there and I have Sonos speakers filling the whole place with amazing sound so at least some of this home owning malarkey is working out.
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Ahhhhh look at dis raccoooooooooooooon!!! 😍 https://instagram.com/p/BptrZDOANga/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1lzencye6dqpn…
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Today’s random theatre show is called “lords of strut”. Again I have only the vaguest idea of what it’s about. This time the theatre is full of children; I may have made a terrible mistake.
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Ah the monthly question of “am I dying or...”
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I’m not even American but I feel like if I wake up to bad news tomorrow I will give up all hope and crumble into a small pile of dust.
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Okay this seems not completely terrible? When are they going to impeach the fascist?!?
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💯 Ego Is the Enemy of Good Leadership - https://hbr.org/2018/11/ego-is-the-enemy-of-good-leadership…
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✨ first day @automattic ✨
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Been grateful for many things over the past two years, but today I will call out the most supportive group of peers I have ever had - especially @elibud
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I love that way of describing it, thank you 💕
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Arrived in the mail(!!) this week: a physical book and four video games. Who even am I?!
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Best airport in Europe!!! (In it’s class) (Which is quite small)
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For an administration that has committed and accepted so much sexual assault to now be concocting it is another form of objectification. Women have no inherent rights to them; we are just tools to be used and discarded or wielded as weapons. It is disgusting.
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I have started talking about my hair like it’s an external entity. “My hair does not like...” “My hair requires...”
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Omg omg this is epic!!!
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My plan for tomorrow is museum of broken relationships in the morning wedding in the evening #balance (I will not be tweeting the wedding but I will obvi be tweeting the museum of broken relationships. Again.)
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The museum of broken relationships is my favourite museum in the world and I suspect the most impactful art experiences of my life explain everything about me.
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Anyway work has been hectic so all I’ve done so far is have a nice lunch and wonder around in the dark but it’s nice to be back in Zagreb 🇭🇷
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“The past is beautiful because one never realizes an emotion at the time. It expands later, & thus we don’t have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.” ~Virginia Woolf
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It begins. I am in the museum of broken relationships.
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“This car represents our love. It shows that when two people truly love one another, no dream is left unfulfilled.”
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“So we broke up. From that day on I have never made another list.”
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“She broke my heart before I had a chance to give it to her. I still can’t look at it without thinking of her gorgeous blue eyes.”
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“We were learning buddies and friends with the same view on things. The monkey was a birthday gift - it represented my worldview.”
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“Florida lake where I skipped school with my boyfriend. The arrow indicates the spot where I first saw a penis in the sunshine.”
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“Naturally, I never saw her again, and now I just hope that the music reminded her of something nice and cute in that whole terrible situation.”
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“I spent a lot of time writing her a letter because I wanted the relationship to succeed. I did not get her reply. Instead I got this letter from her sister.”
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“I’ve kept it as proof of my ability to love and live with someone, but above all it represents my inability to grow as a person when I’m in love. It was about time I became aware of that!”
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“However, I would never have thought that he might leave me at a time when I really needed a friend, because I thought that we would remain friends forever. But that was just what he did.”
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“I broke up with him in a letter. Actually, it was on a blog post.”
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“We didn’t belong together, but I still miss him sometimes.”
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“I don’t know if you’ve ever been inside a cave. A proper large cave, two or three kilometres long. There are millions of crevices and passages that you might crawl into and explore. But you should never really lose touch with your own path and safely return to it in time.”
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“A year later I got an email from him in which he apologized for his behavior...”
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A hamburger toy “His dog left more trace behind than he did.”
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“He was a player.”
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“But, naturally, A’s is often the case with great loves, the relationship broke and so the caterpillar did not become a complete invalid after all.”
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“It was 1992 and I had just stopped working in prostitution. I wanted to write a book about S&M and was going to work for a dominatrix for a few weeks. On the second day, the dominatrix allowed me to belittle and whip a client... and that was when I recognized him.”
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“A business relationship turned into a love affair. Both went bust.”
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“We experiences a powerful story full of travelling and intense moments, he found some sort of freedom in my company, but as Catherine Ringer put it so well, ‘les histoires d’Amour finissent mal en généraaaal’... he goes these shoes for me from a sex shop in Pigalle...”
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“I miss her, her dog, and the samples.”
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“One day H said to L ‘I don’t think I’m in love anymore.’ Two years later L stopped crying...”
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This is so fucking British I can’t even.
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“We worked together for another two years until I threw a tea mug (the big one) through the window missing his head by about nine inches—right where I aimed its flying through the air. He was wrong thinking that I would ‘just get over it.’”
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To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to live what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go to let it go ~Mary Oliver
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“It was a long loop, drawing an arc of time - and this short long arc defined the end of love.”
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“In the end I had to walk away as I had given him far more of myself than he deserved since he did not love me as I loved him.”
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Instagram, why do you insult my love? (This are all the same raccoon, zhora, the most beautiful raccoon on the internet)
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My hotel room has this terrible mechanical humming noise like the inside of a plane. After 2 hours I called reception slightly hysterical and they moved me to another room... On the same floor, the other side of the terrible noise. I am going to lose my mind 😭
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this autogenerated pendant is the way forward for 2019
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Loving this preview from tomorrow's Mobile @ Scale event @facebook
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Aaron do not #notalldolphins me, I am warning you.
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Anyway someone else is indeed dealing with this and I am having a 20 min walk to a fancy office. Like old times 😂
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The hotel manager "but there is no problem now" Me: "there is a problem!! I got NO sleep!"
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I feel so seen, @janklausa
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This is great - Praise is a vitamin – http://heidiwaterhouse.com/2018/07/04/praise-is-a-vitamin/… /by @wiredferret
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"Every 15% decrease in startup time correlates with 0.27% increase in visitation."
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I thought I had seen the full extent of past cate’s demonic nature but buying 10 Domestic Objects in another country only one of which came with shipping is a new one 😭
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This is great 💯 and well articulated - When is someone ready to manage managers? https://medium.com/@skamille/when-is-someone-ready-to-manage-managers-4f365b926435… /by @skamille
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Scheduling a date for next week and I’m like Wednesday should be fine but I’m in hospital Tuesday don’t worry I’ll have someone let you know if I die. I suspect I am bad at dating. Although now it’s probably clear why I’m in therapy on Thursdays 😂
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This is a nice interview with my friend Sophie - so glad she had a supportive environment, accutely aware of how few people do - 'How Amazon helped me transition' https://bbc.com/news/technology-46153007…
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Like java, it is a reasonable but not great answer to almost any situation.
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Cannot look at Georgia O’Keefe’s work and see flowers, only ever a woman in search of sexual fulfillment.
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Public speaking is done from 2018 so thinking about next year's talks... Maybe finally put together the one I've been thinking of as "the new managers survival guide"? Also thinking about one on turnarounds, working title: "everything's fucked: now what?"
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This is great - Praise is a vitamin http://heidiwaterhouse.com/2018/07/04/praise-is-a-vitamin/… /by @wiredferret
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In a third room and there is still a terrible noise oh god oh it's the air con taking a while to shut down and maybe now I can finally sleep 😭
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Having a home is so expensive - I acquired two more Domestic Objects today. Then the man who sold them to me hugged me. Two Americans looked on, the male told me my accent is incomprehensible.
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Next week we will be discussing sea lions.
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Also idk how to have someone notify a random if I die. I should either make some kind of structured list or just hope for the best.
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Mmm okay I think you are new here so you probably don’t remember the time I constructed a fake identity including accidentally inventing a pet owl 🦉... anyway someone I’ve been dating for let’s say... less than 3 months, finding my online persona is one of my greatest fears. https://x.com/jdhovland/stat/jdhovland/status/1064146867813052416…
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Omg so excited to read this
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This is a beautiful story, read it all the way to the end 💙 https://x.com/Azure_Husky/st/Azure_Husky/status/1060555147892400128…
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Spreading the word 🐬
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purple hair don’t care
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For future reference if you are a sleep deprived crazy person and say to someone who is not a tech worker "someone from Facebook is dealing with this" they don't think you are less crazy and they don't believe you either 😂
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Omg Totoro!! https://x.com/1961___/status/1961___/status/1063124039831560193…
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Idk the statistics of women in heterosexual relationships faking orgasms are not in your favour on this. https://x.com/scope2mars/sta/scope2mars/status/1063796891752775681…
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I love these takeaways! So excited for the whole / real thing tomorrow!
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Anyway I'm taking suggestions, requests, feedback... I only do a limited number of events each year, so if you want me at yours now is a good time to ask :) cate AT accidentallyincode DOT com Do require a code of conduct, heavily prefer events that cover travel. Inclusion++ 💜
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Fonts are like... the software version of connectors. Forever accumulated, everyone has a different collection, and at a crucial moment the one you want is invariably missing.
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This year I keep returning to Monet’s waterlillies in different countries and contexts and each time is... entangled in all kinda of emotion.
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Michelle Obama is EVERYTHING so happy Monday all 💞💞 https://elle.com/culture/career-politics/a24788222/michelle-obama-november-2018/… via @ELLEmagazine
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Go to the gym / leave the country.
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Looking for an editor for @hypest
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it was all downhill from there anyway
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I have stopped randomly crying so I guess the drugs are working 💊💊
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💯 me too - I hate manager READMEs – https://medium.com/@skamille/i-hate-manager-readmes-20a0dd9a70d0… /via @skamille
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Oh my god too real 😭 https://x.com/premeesaurus/s/premeesaurus/status/1066485421515788289…
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People’s biggest fuck ups in professional contexts (although probably others too?) seem to come not from things they are bad at, but from things they seeing being good at as part of their identity.
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Bernie Sanders is thinking he might be the best positioned to actually beat Donald Trump, writes @isaacdovere: http://on.theatln.tc/lQ3ZSgw
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😍💕 this is so exciting - WordPress 5.0 Release Candidate https://wordpress.org/news/2018/11/wordpress-5-0-release-candidate/…
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💯 would read
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My friend just asked me what it’s like to work in a women-dominated industry because in India the ratio is apparently reversed and that’s the impression she had of IT 😭
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💜
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He’s like the British equivalent of Bernie Sanders.
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I keep being like “oh I feel better today” and then I try and do something that doesn’t involve being horizontal and I’m like “woah too soon actually I’m dying kthxbai”
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I woke up remarkably chill about one of the Existential Crises if my life, all “oh I will just...” and then I remembered I was pre-gaming anxiety meds last night in preparation for today’s ordeal 🏥 and so today is probably not a day for big decisions.
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Anyway, I don’t want to say I’m proud of them because that’s kinda patronizing. But I am *grateful* for them. In the way that I am grateful for all my friends, but also grateful that they pushed against society’s bullshit to be who they really are.
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This week has been hellish on so many levels. I look like I’ve been punched in the face. I don’t fully understand why this is but there’s something oddly validating about looking as bad as you feel.
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My latest in @QuartzAtWork
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Another week another shitty opinion piece about trans people - and as usual, trans women - and is it me or is it invariably the NYT?
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This is why I: - Weigh taking feedback in hiring - Weigh self-awareness heavily in choosing managers. - Try to have as little attachment to being “good” at anything as possible.
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Places I am the mayor of in cork include the airport and a hospital what does this say about my life 😭
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Anyway it destroyed me; I took a day to get my head straight and then I showed up and was like, look this isn’t going well, and this is what I’m not saying. We talked it out, and from then on we had a _great_ relationship - all the better for that hard conversation, frankly.
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So my question is: - What are you refusing to admit you’re failing at because it means confronting something that matters too much to you to look at? - Do you have people who will call you on it and push you to do better? Because sometimes you’ll need them. We all do.
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There’s something inspiring about that, sure. But also there’s a depth to a relationship that I don’t think is possible when someone is hiding, afraid, trying to be someone else. If you saw that in someone you care about you would know better than to share or amplify that shit.
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Aha my faves are the one where I know someone who works there where I’m like “lol this doesn’t sound like what I’ve heard from you” my fave response? “If only he was like that” 😂
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Current mood: everything hurts nothing is better a short walk left me destroyed I hate everything 😭
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Early last year my coach hammered me for like 90 mins on how I was failing someone who reported to me. It was _brutal_ because it meant confronting that even though I was trying hard and showing up that didn’t make me a “good manager” - the outcome showed I wasn’t good for them.
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Finally, to the other cis women who are the first to call out tokenization and objectification of women when it’s cis women, but who will defend or just silently condone this bullshit: shame on you. If we are not pushing for the humanity of _all_ women, what are we fighting for?
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Thanks for all the love folks, yesterday was awful and I feel pretty fucking terrible today but the doctor said it went well so 🤞
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I used to think that managers in tech were failing & honestly now I think that even more but managers of managers we fail when: - we don’t get our reports feedback from their directs - we don’t set expectations - we give people power over others, but don’t demand accountability
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just a hundred?! you hate dolphins more than I realized
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Yes Seoul, round the corner from where you can meet the most beautiful raccoon if you are into that.
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Personal: - I had people over to my 🏠 for the first time!! It’s still in progress but can no longer be described as a “building site”. - my dad came to visit me and my 🚗 is 🇮🇪 now - I went to 🏥 and it nearly killed me but it was at least somewhat effective, too. - finally a 🦝
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Someone saw one of my posts recently, realized someone I had worked with, emailed to say “me too” and like... oh my guy, these guys, they do this shit again and again and again.
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Listen, pay attention, because the earlier you catch the fuckups you made (we all do) or inherited, the better chance to fix them. If you own mistakes & address them, people give you space to do better. If you hide them, they will still see, & soon they won’t trust you anymore.
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I wrote about it at length here: https://cate.blog/2016/08/25/the-trouble-with-imposters/… (although not about management specifically). I think it's good to be conscious, but it's not feel the imposter syndrome and do it anyway, you know?
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Tbh I only know being a “remote” manager and I have never missed or regretted any kind of office dynamic I ever experienced.
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Ruin a first date in four words or less.
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How do I pack for a trip featuring 10 degree and 30 degree weather again and also where did I put my will to live I can’t leave the country without it.
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Yeah! We do snaps! Ask people to post 1) something they are proud of, 2) something they appreciated from someone on the team 3) something they appreciated from someone on another team.
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💯 you did
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Well it has been A Week 😭
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If I eat something I might be sick on a plane but if I don't I might faint in an airport. Decisions, decisions.
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Yeah, but if a decade of blogging has taught me anything it’s that I have no idea what people will find useful 😂
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My friend comes over and says “Why is everything new? You don’t keep anything from your previous life?”
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Your biggest lever on this is the people who report to you, who you give power. Right people with right support will accelerate and set a culture. Wrong people or a lack of support will create a mess that *harms* individuals and someone else will spend a long time cleaning up.
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@hmason
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I try to speak to everyone who reports to me every day, weekly 1:1s for managers, bi-weekly (but an hour) if ICs. Time together irl is good. Weekly team calls etc.
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Super excited about this 💜 WordPress 5.0: A Gutenberg FAQ https://ma.tt/2018/11/a-gutenberg-faq/… /by @photomatt
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Interesting, I’ll have a read. She said it was 70:30 at her school, I think the drop off is very steep in industry.
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My dad and I are texting each other whilst we wait to take off in different planes at different airports 🛫🥰💜
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😭