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The plant is becoming alarmingly sentient, it is now sending emails (and adding me on G+)Permalink On twitter.com
❤️ 3 Favorites Mood 0
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OK, I'm not cut out for responsibility. This plant ownership thing is stressful. It's so demanding!Permalink On twitter.com
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I have responded to the demands of the plant.Permalink On twitter.com
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Finally I know what the original list says, and I understand. It was not instructions, but demands.Permalink On twitter.com
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T was pretty judgey about the unhealthy appearance of The Plant earlier. And now the healthy plants around my apt building seem to mock me.Permalink On twitter.com
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I don't know what has gone wrong, I followed all the instructions on all the postits. It had a new list, water... No sky TV though.Permalink On twitter.com
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Since water and lists have not helped, I have resorted to email.Permalink On twitter.com
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T: "Next time someone buys you a plant, ask them to buy you a plastic plant. They don't die. Unless you water them."Permalink On twitter.com
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The plant hasn't responded to my email, and is looking more and more... dead. Now T is also looking unwell. I'm concerned by this trend.Permalink On twitter.com
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T: "what have you been watering it with?" Me: "bottled water." T: "what is wrong with you? Who gives bottled water to a plant?!"Permalink On twitter.com
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T examines the bottled water ingredients. Me: "it's not dying because of the bottled water, it's dying because it hates me" T: "good point"On twitter.com
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Amazing, someone #ff'd me (thx!) for "the caretaking of plants". WFH today but I'm not optimistic about the plant's health. Or T, actually.Permalink On twitter.com
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My mom is being very judgey about the plants well-being and wants to adopt it. It may be too late.Permalink On twitter.com
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What may be the last communication from The Plant :( At least it seems optimistic about the future.Permalink On twitter.com
