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The story of Cate and the Mystery Crash continues. Crash is now occurring on Cate's device, but not showing up in the logs. TO BE CONTINUED!
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A kind tip from a wise stranger (aka dantoml) and now we are debugging COMPILER OPTIMIZATIONS. OMG super fun happy time.
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Cate vanquished the bug by adding 1 to the length of array. Then, like Bond, retreated to drink heavily and contemplate futility of life.
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You know what they say, there are 2 hard problems in CS. Off by one errors, naming things, and dealing with Computer Scientists.