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I have mixed feelings about the no asshole rule because I have seen it used to police a victim's reaction rather than the original behavior.
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It is totally normal to be upset by much of the stuff women experience in the tech industry. Myself I started to worry when I became inured.
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The day I realized a guy had called me a bitch ~6 months earlier and I had not even noticed was the day I knew that I had to leave.
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People who don't feel safe are rarely their best and nicest selves.