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Talking to friends about this shitshow made me realize I have got much better at something I used to be very bad at.
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Specifically: navigating the fine line between being a bitch and a pushover. This has been something I found super hard and frustrating.
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I erred a lot on the side of being a pushover which btw is so bad for your self esteem.
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And I would periodically try to assert myself and this would be so shocking to people that voila I'm a bitch.
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And I think the main thing that has helped me is cultivating a deep belief that I am a reasonable person. That my boundaries are reasonable.
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Anyway I guess what I'm saying is if n>=1 people want to talk about what a bitch I am this week, there's not much I can do.
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And don't get me wrong it's stressing me out - I'm wide awake at 4am and having a hard time eating. Feeling very emotionally closed off.
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But I still believe I'm a reasonable person and once this blows over I'm gonna keep doing what I do.
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Tl:dr: haters gonna hate, cate is gonna cate.