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So my post from ages ago about bystanders has been making the rounds again. It's time I told y'all a little story. catehuston.com/blog/2014/12/31/sigh/
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The event that inspired me to write it was finding the word "whore" in a design doc by some guy who thought it was lolsy.
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His manager had commented "sigh" several months previously. This was a big project. A LOT of people had looked at that document.
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No one has spoken up. I didn't either, I'd learned my lesson about talking to hr (specifically: don't do it). I sent it to a friend who did.
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I heard something happened to the guy who wrote the comment. But I always thought his managers behaviour was more disappointing.
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I had just come back from a 2 month break after being super burnt out by a number of things but also the worst manager I ever had.
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(He was also a bystander. And used to regularly gaslight and outright lie to me. Stand up guy, really.)
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Fellow managers, we have more responsibility not to let this shit slide in front of us. It's hard to call stuff out but it only gets harder.
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And I tell you what: I am tired of seeing brilliant women I know driven out because stuff happens and their teammates just keep quiet.
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It feels really shitty to be publicly diminished or erased or harassed and watch people you used to respect say nothing. Be better.