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I was in a pretty dark place through most of Q1 but I have started to feel genuinely happy the past few weeks or so. This has been pretty hard won, so I want to share a bit about what’s changed...Permalink On twitter.com
♻️ 2 Retweets ❤️ 37 Favorites Mood +9 🙂
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The biggest thing is definitely health!! I got super sick August last year and it took a long time (and a second round of antibiotics at the end of December) to truly feel better.Permalink On twitter.com
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And then of course I had an accident that left me physically incapacitated. I’m still not 100% and there are some things I can’t do. But I have a normal (for me) level of physical activity again and it’s _great_.On twitter.com
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The second change is around not thinking purely short/long term but accepting the lengths of time I can contemplate. E.g. Cork as a place I expect to spend at least the next year. This frees myself from the dichotomy of nomadism and the idea of a “forever place”.Permalink On twitter.com
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The third thing is embracing independence (not just in travel but in life). Buying a townhouse alone has been pretty brutal, but it’s also a thing to be proud of! And I’m excited to have everything as I want it.Permalink On twitter.com
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The fourth thing is confidence. One of the insidious things about “prove it again” is internalizing it and demanding that you “prove it again” to yourself, too - whilst being your own harshest judge.Permalink On twitter.com
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I’m owning what I’ve accomplished and creating space for myself to grow and not judging past Cates too harshly for their mistakes. Seeing change and _getting credit_ for that change helped a lot. But _I_ had to believe it too.Permalink On twitter.com
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The fifth thing is setting boundaries - which I feel comes from that confidence. I am willing to say “yes, and this is what I need”, to shut the laptop because I _want_ to do something else - rather than I can’t do any more.Permalink On twitter.com
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This also involves setting boundaries around the feelings I will allow other people to put on me. Wanting to help and support people doesn’t commit you to enabling or “fixing” them. Which we all know can’t be done anyway 🙃Permalink On twitter.com
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Most of this has been my work, but embracing people who love and respect me and saying okay-fuck-you to the people for whom I will never be enough (or always be too much) helps me do it.Permalink On twitter.com
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Someone reminded me recently how I committed to this work at the start of the year with #2018liberations. If you liberated yourself too, I’d love to know how that’s going? catehstn/947755807902502912Permalink On twitter.com
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Being happy is not something that we work to “deserve” but there can be work we have to do to open ourselves up to it. It doesn’t help to judge our own path to getting there anymore than it helps to judge the people around us.Permalink On twitter.com
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Anyway! Those are my thoughts for the day from the gym early on a Sunday morning. Have a good one! Much love 💞💋Permalink On twitter.com